When parents reach out to me to get their child(ren) enrolled in piano lessons, I often ask a lot of questions during that introductory call. During those first few sessions, I learn a lot about families' motivations for having their child(ren) study music. It usually falls into one of a few categories:
1. To create an opportunity for intellectual and emotional enrichment with the possibility of lifetime enjoyment of a single activity
2. To have an after school activity that keeps them busy, engaged, and out of trouble
3. To see if their child has an "aptitude" for music and if they even like it
Of these groups, the last one is the toughest for me, because as a Suzuki certified piano instructor, I believe that every child can play an instrument if given enough time, the right tools and a good support system. However, with little guidance and coaching at home, these children often flounder and lose interest. Why?
If we compare learning music to playing a sport, I think the reasons become much more clear. With sports, there are set practice times that occur on a weekly basis, usually several times a week. Between practices, there are games. And on days off, many athletes find it helpful to run, strength train, go over various plays, watch sports, etc. The sport becomes a lifestyle much more easily because there are adults guiding and coaching along the way at many junctures. It becomes a 4-5 day per week commitment.
However, when it comes to music, many parents think their work is done once their child has a piano and has been taken to their weekly lesson. They don't set a practice structure out of fear that their child will resent them or the instrument for being required to have discipline. I couldn't disagree more.
Some parents approach me wanting to start their children with piano lessons but don't want to invest in an instrument right away. Somehow the child is expected to potentially succeed without having the proper tools. "I want to see if they like it first before I buy an instrument," is a common thing I hear. However, it's not whether or not they will like the lesson that I'm concerned with. It's whether or not they can stick with the practice in between lessons that is the real test of their desire to study. We would never sign our child up for football without the proper equipment. Why would we do that with music?
Children with tools and a structure in place surrounding their musical study will no longer see this work as an option, but rather as a part of the routine that is expected of them. Much like how brushing our teeth, doing our chores, or going to school aren't optional, practicing an instrument becomes a part of the daily ecosystem. Through that regularity of practice, they begin to see great progress, and lessons become a weekly touch point to work through any difficulties seen through the week. Rather than being a chore, these lessons become a relief - and a great time to ask any burning questions.
But young children, especially those under the age of 9 or 10, often need parental reminders to do this work because there are so many other things vying for their attention. Once the routine is established however, it becomes just a matter of maintenance, but getting to that point requires consistency on the parents' part for the child to see success.
If you plan to enroll your child in music lessons, this is a big investment of time, energy and resources. Just as we wouldn't be lazy with building a foundation on a new home, we want to create a solid structure with practicing and parental support from day one.
Parental support doesn't just mean getting your child to practice a certain number of minutes per day. It also means providing a way for them to listen to the music they're studying on a daily basis. It means listening to them if they say they don't like a piece, or that they're struggling. It means noticing when they're not practicing the required pieces for the next week's lesson and asking them why. If it turns out they just don't understand the piece or like it, these things are your job to communicate to the teacher so that changes can be made and resources can be offered. Often children have not yet learned how to advocate for themselves and need some help in this area so they don't flounder in frustration and disappointment.
The role of the parent coach can not be overstated, particularly when it comes to the Suzuki curriculum. And the rewards can be immensely gratifying! The families that follow these guidelines are far more likely to instill a lifetime love of making music in their children. Their children stick with it longer, go further, and learn more.
If you want any ideas on how to be a better parent coach, please don't hesitate to ask!
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